The Need for Rites of Passage and its Consequences on Masculinity: A Deep Dive

5 years ago, I wrote an article titled “Ki dia m’a bira hòmber” or in english “When did I become a man?”, I delved into a deeply personal journey of identity and transition. Using my experiences growing up as a yu di Kòrsou/Afro-Kurasoleño, I sought to understand the precise moment or event that marked the transition from boyhood to manhood. This introspective journey revealed a shared ambiguity amongst many, a lack of clarity about when a boy truly becomes a man in societies that do not have structured rites of passage. The narrative resonated with numerous questions arising from the community: When is one’s first true encounter with manhood? Is it a sexual experience? The first taste of alcohol? The responsibilities that come with fatherhood? 

The question is not just of semantics or societal rituals but deeply ingrained in one’s psyche, shaping behaviors, relationships, and self-worth. The ambiguity left in the wake of a missing rite of passage has profound consequences. With this continuation, we intend to dive deeper into the psychological, societal, and cultural implications of this missing link in a boy’s journey to manhood. Drawing upon established research and lived experiences, we’ll unravel the complexities and understand the wider ramifications of this issue.

1. The Need for the Rite of Passage

Rites of passage have been integral to human societies, shaping behaviors, guiding transitions, and fostering community bonds. Across cultures and time, these ceremonies have acted as pivotal events in an individual’s life, marking their growth and societal role. 

For instance: 

• Aboriginal Australian Walkabout: Among Aboriginal Australians, the Walkabout serves as a rite of passage for young men. Typically, around the age of 13, they undergo a journey into the wilderness for up to six months, marking their transition from boyhood to manhood. This ritual is vital for the individual’s personal growth, sense of identity, and connection to their ancestral roots and land. 
• Satere-Mawe Tribe in the Amazon: Young boys of the Satere-Mawe tribe must wear gloves filled with bullet ants, known for their excruciatingly painful stings, to prove their readiness for manhood. This painful ceremony, while extreme, signifies resilience and the ability to withstand hardship, central to their community’s definition of manhood. 
• Maasai Warrior Initiation: As previously discussed, the Maasai community in East Africa has an elaborate ceremony where boys transition into warriors. It involves several rites, including circumcision, and teaches values of bravery, responsibility, and leadership. 

As various anthropological studies suggest, these rites have profound psychological and societal importance. Dr. Joseph Campbell’s “The Hero with a Thousand Faces” (1949) elucidates the universal motifs of rites of passage. These rituals not only help in identity formation but also in understanding one’s role in the larger societal fabric. 

Furthermore, a study by Dr. Laurence Steinberg, “Adolescence” (2016), highlights the importance of these rituals in adolescent cognitive development. They provide structured environments where adolescents can safely test boundaries, understand consequences, and internalize societal values. 

Moreover, as the Journal of Ritual Studies (2007) suggests, rites of passage help in reducing anxiety related to transitions. In societies where these rituals are practiced, young boys often experience less uncertainty and anxiety about their changing roles, having a clear marker and community support. 

The universality and persistence of rites of passage across disparate cultures underscore their fundamental importance. They offer clarity in an otherwise tumultuous phase, providing guidance, fostering community bonds, and shaping individual identity in harmony with societal values. 

2. Self-construction of Masculinity

In societies like Curaçao, young boys face a unique confluence of cultural influences, juxtaposing traditional Caribbean values with the pressures of modern globalized ideals of masculinity. Curaçao, with its rich history as a melting pot of cultures – from the indigenous Arawak to the influences of Spanish, Dutch, African, and others – offers a complex tapestry of what it means to be a man. 

Within the multifaceted landscape of Curaçao’s societal fabric, the Jewish community stands out, having a storied and significant presence on the island that dates back centuries. This community, despite being a minority, has been deeply influential, particularly in maintaining their cultural and religious traditions amidst the broader Curaçaoan ethos. One of the most significant aspects of their tradition is the Bar Mitzvah, a rite of passage for 13-year-old boys. This ceremony is a clear marker of the transition from boyhood to manhood within their community. While the broader Curaçao society lacks a universally recognized and practiced rite of passage, the Jewish community has consistently offered its young boys this structured transition into adulthood, albeit within its closed circle. 

However, for many other young Afro-Kurasoleño men outside this circle, understanding their evolution into manhood involves navigating the legacies of colonial histories, where masculinity was often linked with strength, resilience, and resistance. At the same time, they are exposed to global media, where masculinity might be tied to material success, physical appearance, or sexual conquests. 

The Global Early Adolescent Study, a comprehensive research initiative spanning across 15 countries, sought to understand the formation of gender identities in young adolescents. A key finding was the early formation of gender norms, which solidify between the ages of 10 and 14. These established norms then influence their behavior, expectations, and relationships, emphasizing traits like toughness, self-sufficiency, heterosexuality, and suppressing emotions. 

In essence, the process of self-construction is influenced by a myriad of external factors. Without guiding principles or rites to anchor their transition, many young boys in Curaçao, outside of communities like the Jewish one, often gravitate towards the most accessible and prevalent ideas of manhood, which may not always be holistic or positive. The challenge lies in providing them with balanced, diverse, and positive representations of masculinity, which can guide them through their transformative years. 

3. Relating Masculinity to Sexual Prowess

In the intricate tapestry of masculinity’s self-construction, one predominant thread is the association of manhood with sexual achievements. At its core, the notion of “self-constructed markers” underscores the milestones individuals set for themselves in the absence of societal demarcations. Particularly in male contexts, sexual conquests emerge not just as acts of intimacy but as veritable affirmations of one’s manhood. In the void left by absent rites of passage, a worrying number of young men equate their virility, and by extension their maturity, with the quantity and nature of their sexual encounters. 

Exploring the repercussions of this association further, we find: 

• Mental Health Implications: By continuously seeking validation through sexual prowess, young men can inadvertently nurture feelings of inadequacy, loneliness, and even depression. If they perceive themselves as failing in these self-set benchmarks of masculinity, it leads to a detrimental cycle of self-doubt, which can be emotionally draining and mentally damaging. The persistent sense of inadequacy, if unchecked, can overshadow all other accomplishments in their lives. Source: Zarowski, M., et al. (2020). “Sexual Compulsivity, Attachment Styles, and Mental Health Outcomes.” 
• Objectification of Partners: Elevating sexual encounters as the yardstick for masculinity can inadvertently promote a dehumanized perspective towards partners, reducing them to mere tools for validation. Such a mindset can lay the groundwork for toxic relationship dynamics and emotional disconnect. Source: Kimmel, M. S. (2008). “Guyland: The perilous world where boys become men.” 
• Performance Anxiety: The mounting pressure to validate manhood through sexual acts can cultivate performance anxieties, manifesting as a range of sexual disorders, further deepening feelings of inadequacy. Source: Barlow, D. H. (1986). “Causes of sexual dysfunction: The role of anxiety and cognitive interference.” 
• Unhealthy Relationships with Sex: This skewed prism can drive young men towards high-risk sexual behaviors, casual encounters without emotional depth, or unprotected engagements, elevating their exposure to both physical risks like STIs and emotional traumas. Source: Higgins, J. A., Mullinax, M., Trussell, J., Davidson, J. K., & Moore, N. B. (2011). “Sexual satisfaction and sexual health among university students in the United States.” 
• Perpetuation of Toxic Masculinity: Such associations cement a constricted and potentially detrimental model of masculinity, potentially influencing younger generations and sustaining patriarchal ideologies. This warped paradigm not only impacts young men but can also affect young women, influencing their expectations and acceptance of such behaviors. Source: Connell, R. W., & Messerschmidt, J. W. (2005). “Hegemonic masculinity: Rethinking the concept.” 

On a broader canvas, this is not just an individual predicament but a societal concern. By equating manhood with sexual conquests, we risk destabilizing family systems, where respect, trust, and mutual understanding form the bedrock. Men might prioritize sexual validation over genuine familial responsibilities, leading to disjointed family structures. Moreover, the intimate relationships between men and women could be strained, with women feeling objectified and undervalued, while men feel perpetually under the guillotine of proving their masculinity. The ripple effects of such associations, if left unaddressed, can erode the very foundations of societal relationships and mutual respect.

4. Approaching a Solution

In the face of the mounting evidence about the psychological and societal challenges associated with unstructured rites of passage, it is crucial to understand that the need for change is urgent. Our youth, families, and communities are at stake, and delaying proactive measures could exacerbate the situation. Here’s a more detailed approach to seeking solutions: 

• Community-Based Initiatives: Taking a leaf from cultures that have maintained rites of passage, communities can design their programs for young men. These might include mentorship programs where older, experienced men share their insights about adulthood, responsibilities, and life skills. For instance, the “Manhood Development Program” in Oakland, California, has had significant success in mentoring young African-American males, leading them through discussions on history, identity, and responsibility. 
• Educational Reforms: Schools play a pivotal role in molding young minds. Including comprehensive sex education, which doesn’t just touch on the biological aspects but delves deep into relationships, consent, respect, and the misconceptions of masculinity, can be revolutionary. Programs like the “Good Men Project” provide a template, emphasizing storytelling and discussions about what manhood truly means in the 21st century. 
• Media Representation: The media wields substantial influence over societal norms and perceptions. By showcasing a more diverse and holistic depiction of masculinity – one that doesn’t revolve solely around physical prowess or sexual conquests – we can challenge and reshape deep-rooted stereotypes. This means more shows, movies, and literature that spotlight emotionally open, nurturing, and vulnerable male characters. 
• Professional Counseling: Recognizing the psychological repercussions discussed earlier, there should be easily accessible counseling services for young men. They might grapple with pressures of manhood, sexual anxieties, or identity crises, and a professional hand can guide them through these tumultuous phases. 
• Public Awareness Campaigns: Launching public campaigns about the dangers of tying manhood to sexual achievements can be enlightening. Examples include initiatives like “HeForShe,” which not only focuses on gender equality but also on reshaping perceptions of masculinity. Through community discussions, workshops, and seminars, such campaigns can create an open platform for everyone to redefine what it means to be a man. 
• Family-Based Discussions: At the grassroots level, fostering open discussions within families can be transformative. Parents can play an instrumental role in shaping their son’s perceptions about masculinity, ensuring it’s rooted in values of respect, responsibility, and empathy rather than shallow benchmarks. 

In closing, while recognizing the rites of passage’s cultural significance, it’s also essential to acknowledge the fluidity of its definition in contemporary contexts. The clock is ticking, and as we witness the escalating consequences of nebulous transitions to manhood, there is an imperative to act decisively. The road ahead involves concerted efforts from individuals, families, communities, and institutions. Only then can we hope to create a more inclusive, understanding, and nurturing environment for our young men, guiding them towards a wholesome understanding of masculinity.

Thank you for reading, don’t forget to leave a comment.